Our duo formerly known as dyspeptic talk the vampire movie I feel a twelve year old goth would have written, Byzantium. In fact, Chaos’ middle and high school best friend was a 12 year old goth who wrote plays. The one I remember was very Island of Dr. Moreau-ie (that word is DANGEROUSly full of vowels), which I knew because I had seen trailers from that movie. I was deemed too young to see that movie. I was definitely not the more worldly of the two of us, obviously. Wait. We were talking about Byzantium. Shit, sorry.
Two lady vampires travel around together always on the run, leaving bodies in their wake. One Forever Young is soft and sweet, hunting amongst the sick and the old (That’s what a predator does, dumbass. You’re still a lion.) and taking those ready to die. Her companion is a spitfire peddling the oldest profession in the world, much to her dismay, and she feeds on the men she comes across, stealing from them. Total puritan moment the audience gets SEX BAD just stamped across our foreheads at all the disapproval this immoral women gets, and she has a tragic background about being forced into prostitution. So the dude could just have her whenever he wanted, basically. We have some flashback-within-a-scene scenes, which confused at least Mama Carnage (I mean I got it but yeah it was kinda, “wait, what?”)
And then dude vampires do not like the lady vampires, and also it’s illegal for lady vampires to bring in anyone because patriarchy, not even joking.
And omg just listen to the show. Why did you even read all that?!
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Theme Song “Club Transylvania” by the Computer Music All-Stars http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Computer_Music_All-Stars/Halloween_1182/
RottenTomatoes.com, IMDb.com, FanFiction.net, Archiveofourown.org
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